Scallion pancakes

Trying this recipe tonight

Image via LMS blog.

I’ll add pictures as I go! 🙂

I diced what little green onions we had – about 3 sprigs, and minced some
cloves of garlic…

Ended up adding white onions like the recipe suggested. I didn’t sautée the veggies, though. I let them marinate in a mixture of 2tbsp sesame oil, 1tsp salt & 1tsp garlic salt

My first batch….

My gma said they tasted kind of bland so I added 2tsp of salt into the veggie/sesame oil mixture

Final result! I would use more veggies next time. I left these relatively thick when I rolled them down and liked the extra texture to it.

Fries

I’m sitting here watching my grandma eat fries during lunch and getting nostalgic remembering the way in which my grandpa used to eat fries.
He’d always get “stuck” with the fries my grandma doesn’t like – the limp ones, burnt ones, runt ones. And he’d always play with them on the table, unable to see anything clearly due to his poor eyesight, he’d pick the fries up, twirl them around, and bang them as if to produce drum sounds.

As I’m thinking about him, I’m thinking about how I’d visit my grandparents while in college. I’d come to see them every few Sundays. My mom would text me, advising me not to come home because my grandparents weren’t in the mood to go out, but I’d come by anyway. I’d sneak up quietly to my grandparents’ bedroom and I’d say hi to my grandpa as he lazily napped in his bed. I’d kiss him on his cheek and he’d almost immediately pop up, excited to see me. Even if he was tired or feeling down, he’d enthusiastically say, “OK! Amy’s here! Let’s go out!”
He loved spending time with family, especially his grandkids. At that point, even if my gma still wasn’t in the mood to go out, he’d convince her that grandkids were important and they’d not see us often.

It occurred to me today that I miss him more than I’ve allowed myself to admit. It was nice letting myself cry a bit and reminisce.

I saw this image on the lock screen of an iPad 2 at a camera store my dad frequents. After about 3 minutes of trying to email the image to myself (forgot my password), I gave up and just took a picture of the image. It screamed to me, “I understand you! I’m just like you!” so I fell in love.

It’s that time of the year. It’ll be my 3rd Easter as a Catholic and I’m excited about my continued growth and learning.

This year, I’m trying to dedicate myself to giving up meat and soda for Lent. I hope that I can withstand the challenges. It’ll be toughest at work, but it’ll just be that much more worth it. I’ll feel healthier every day without that junk in me and hopefully it’ll be a big step towards going back to being a vegetarian.

I hope this leads to bigger changes in the near future.

Embrace the Goodness

WITH THAT MOON LANGUAGE

Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them,
“love me.”
Of course you do not do this out loud;
Otherwise,
Someone would call the cops.
Still though, think about this,
This great pull in us to connect.
Why not become the one
Who loved with a fulling in each eye
That is always saying
With that sweet moon
Language
What every other eye in this world
Is dying to
Hear.

-Hafez
(via Tattoos on the Heart)

I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams. – Jonas Salk

I’ve had the same recurring nightmare since I was a little kid, maybe around 8-10 years old.

The nightmare has several variations, but in general, my dad and a gang of his friends or allies or however you want to put it, sneak into my grandparents’ house and my house, and proceed to kill off my family and hunt us in our homes. I witness it and am often put in a position of risking my life to save a member of my family. Most commonly, my stepdad and brother are killed.
This nightmare has haunted me for so many years, and comes in waves. Sometimes I won’t have the nightmare for a few months. When I was in college, there would be periods where I had the nightmare maybe 3-4 times a week.

What I remember the most is that when I realize I’m having a nightmare, I try hard to wake myself up, but often cannot. Sometimes I feel myself sleep through it forcibly because I’m afraid of what I might miss at the end. I know that these feelings are fragments of my subconscious, but in the moment it feels so real. I wake up frightened and sweaty, afraid and sad.

Today, I took a nap and had a different sort of a nightmare. Same theme of home invasion and family being in danger. I dreamt that I was going out with my grandma and mom. My grandma forgot something, so she wanted to go back in the house. My grandpa’s favorite chair was at the top of the stairs, a few feet in front of the door to my grandparents’ room. My grandma and mom stayed downstairs looking for something and in the corner of my eye I saw a hooded man run from behing the chair into my grandparents’ room. I didn’t have my glasses on so I was unsure as to what exactly happened. Then, 2 other men ran into the bedroom from behind the chair. I waved frantically at the front door for my grandma and mom to get out. I didn’t want to make noise and let the intruders know I saw them. Then I woke up. I’m getting anxious just reliving it now.

I wonder what these themes mean. Home invasion. Family. Always the same patterns. This time my dad wasn’t in it, thank goodness.

actions speak louder than words

if people really cared, they’d extend a hand and show it. they wouldn’t turn their backs to you. just sayin’. 🙂

I dreamed a dream

every night i beg my grandpa to come to me in a dream. He never does. maybe it’s because I’m too far from home. maybe he’s not ready. Maybe I did something bad to not deserve him. either way, it kills me. Why can’t he talk to me? why can’t i see him? i need him.