grandma

I’ve been helping my mom and uncle take care of my grandma now for about 4 months. it’s been grueling and frustrating, mostly, but there are those few times i see the beauty in my grandma and appreciate so much all this time i’ve been granted with her. We sit around and read the paper together, have breakfast, chat a little about whatever is on her mind – family rants, memories as a child, funny anecdotes. Then she goes upstairs and takes a nap or just sits around in her room as i clean the house up, do laundry, take out the trash, sweep and mop. I usually then settle myself and browse the internet, watch TV, read magazines, write down life goals, etc. Come lunch time we’ll either go out, or I’ll get something to go and bring it back. after lunch, we chit chat some more, talk about current events, then she goes upstairs again until dinner time. I make dinner, clean some more, and then my parents come home.

I get pretty frustrated sometimes when my grandma is a little moody or angry. She gets in those moods a lot. She’ll complain about the way I’ve made something, or rant about a family member until I end up hating them too. I often feel like I can’t do enough to keep her happy, to please her.

But there are those golden moments. Moments when she sings for me and reveals that as a child she always wanted to be a singer/actress. When she tells me stories about how my grandpa courted her. When she talks about her views on politics and society (she’s pretty damn liberal!). Those times when we both discover that we love watching basketball and we OOH and AAHh over 3pt shots, bad foul calls, and overly talented athletes. I smile at those moments when her face crinkles up even more because she’s innocently laughing. or when she falls asleep at the dining table with her feet up, and accidentally wakes herself up with a snore.

at times, i think, shit, I’m 23, i shouldn’t be indoors all this time, watching over her. i get mad at my cousins who simply text me and tell me to say hi to grandma. i get pissed that my uncles and aunts are traveling and on vacation while i’m holed up, watching over their mom. i get very, very angry a lot of the time. but it’s those little moments of us bonding, of seeing what a truly beautiful person she is, that i thank God for giving me this opportunity. an opportunity i missed with my grandpa. i’m grateful for the short time i have with my grandma. who knows how much longer she’ll be around – her health is declining and her spirits are low – but i won’t take these days for granted at all.

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